Making sense of January
I feel like this post should be titled 'Making sense of January/my life'. I know it's such a cliche but even this morning I still had no idea what the day/date was. Christmas and New Year is such a muddle of long relaxing days and loads of food and booze that I have really found it hard to keep up! I've been reading a lot of 'new year, new start' blogs where people list their resolutions, hopes and dreams for the year ahead. Don't get me wrong, it's all great but I feel it's sometimes a little bit fake. For me the start of a new year is always an exciting concept, but it's also a time I use to reflect on the last 365 days that seemed to have vanished into thin air. Most importantly it's always the time of year I seem to analyse my life. I came across my old blog the other day and this was posted just after I finished uni. Although it was 2 years ago, in some ways I don't think I've moved very far from the person I was then... ''The festive period is always time for reflection; for remembering the good times, the mistakes, the memories, the friends we made, the things we achieved, the people we met, and most importantly those who are no longer around. It is a time to enjoy family and friends, and to look forward to the new year ahead. Things change as we grow up - our friendship groups go through cycles and we realise who we really want to be spending time with and who we can do without. Family perhaps becomes less important, and then within a few years we realise how fundamental they are to our sanity and most importantly to who we are. We start to realise that the real world isn't hunky dory, and that it is in fact damn hard work...
It sounds like I am being very negative about it all but I have found the transition into 'adulthood' rather difficult. This Christmas was the first I have not woken up early with my brother, examining our stockings before falling back to sleep. It was pretty tough for both of us, yet something that had to happen at some point! I have begun to realise that the little things in life really are the most important. Yesterday I came across a Welsh world 'hiraeth' which I believe sums up the feeling of all of this. It is apparently 'a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.''
I would like to reiterate that although this all sounds a bit doom and gloom, I am not being the Scrooge of New Year! I am extremely lucky to live the life I do, to be surrounded by the love, family and friends that I am. I know I said the whole resolutions thing sounds fake and same same, but I do have just one aim for 2017 - to be happy. There are a few immediate changes that need to be made to achieve this, primarily my job! Next week marks my 2 year anniversary with Laura Ashley and although I enjoy my job, I really miss designing. So I actually have two aims for the year - the second being to launch my own business. To do this I need time that I currently don't have so a job change is essential to give it a real go...
I'd really like to finish on a POSITIVE note, so would just like to quote an inspirational young woman who unfortunately lost her battle with cancer a couple of years ago:
'When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, give life 1000 reasons to smile...'
So I'm going to wish you all a VERY happy new year, may your 2017 be filled with laughter, happiness, health and contentment.